Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
