It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
