I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Barsexuality is the new black.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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