Kiss
Puke
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
