what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
