You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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