If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
