Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we're making bets on your personal life
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
