If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How does one acquire holy water?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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