K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We named our party play list daddy issues
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize