My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize