I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
