Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize