i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
