Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
