you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
