$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
