I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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