i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
