I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
