So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
