he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
