speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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