I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
