Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
