You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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