i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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