Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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