We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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