is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
