I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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