Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Couch. On fire.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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