Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
