it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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