No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
