I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
