He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
