they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
