I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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