I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
