Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
