the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
false alarm. still invincible.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
