even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
