Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
