sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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