Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
