Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's Friday. Sex?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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