i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
