We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
