i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
