So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
