Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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