We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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