What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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