U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
