discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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