Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
