You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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